Miego “MJ” Grant Jr
“I can’t fucking believe you. First you call the cops and now this shit?”
I walked right up on Azz not giving a fuck about the fact that guns were drawn. This situation wasn’t about me. It was about her.
All this shit was her fault so if bullets started flying then she’d have to live or die with that on her conscious. I know that sounds hateful but it was true. We where here because of her.
Regardless of how angry I was, I damn sure wasn’t thinking that I wanted her to get hit by a bullet that might have my name on it, but there were two things that I knew for certain and that was that bullets didn’t discriminate and both of our families apparently had no issues with letting a few pop off.
“Aye, back the fuck up before you create a situation that you can’t recover from.”
“Uncle Cooper don’t do that. You’re not going to shoot him,” Azz yelled as she took a step around him and positioned her body in between us.
Just that quickly the gun that was previously aimed at me, was now aimed at her, but only for a brief second because he moved it when she made it her business to block him from me.
“A’Zara, what the fuck is wrong with you? Do you really want to make this shit worse than it already is? Move your ass out the way.” Mr. Karsen yelled in an agitated tone.
“Daddy no. Not until all of you put your guns down. You’re not going to shoot him becasue he didn’t do anything. This is my fault. It’s all my fault.”
I released a deep throated laugh at the fact that she was trying to change the direction of things. It didn’t change shit for me. I was still so fucking pissed that I would have taken the got damn bullet just to get her the fuck out of my presence.
I kept my eyes on Azz and hers were on mine. I could see the distress behind her stare, but I was too angry to care.
“Fleet put the gun down,” Cooper said causing everyone to look his way, me included.
“Hell no, not until I know what the fuck happened.”
“Then we can stand here all got damn day. I have nothing but time.” My father’s voice sounded from behind me.
“Fleet put your fucking gun down. You just heard what she said. She’s taking responsibility for this shit and if she’s willing to stand in front of a gun for him then you already know what it is.”
I watched Karsen’s jaw tighten as he looked at his daughter first, then his brother and lastly me. He lowered his gun but kept it at his side.
“Aye Miego, we good for the minute. Put your shit down too.” I heard my Uncle Train speak to my father from behind me.
I glanced over my shoulder, knowing that he wouldn’t bend so easily and sure enough he still had his aimed at Karsen but when I looked at him he lowered it, keeping his at his side also.
“What’s this shit all about? My son said that he didn’t put his hands on her.”
“And I didn’t,” I said right after my father spoke but I made sure to keep my eyes on Azz.
“It doesn’t matter whether he did or not. If he put her in a position where she didn’t feel safe that shit is unacceptable.”
“Did I do that Azz? Did I make you feel like you weren’t safe, because your fucking lies caught up with you?” I took a step towards her and her uncle along with Karsen took a step towards me.
“Aye back the fuck up.”
“Look, muthafucker, that’s your niece but that’s my son ain’t shit happening. Either we all calm the fuck down or we raise that heat again.” My dad said. He was annoyed which was dangerous because he didn’t have patience for shit.
“Let’s do it then,” Karsen said raising his gun again.
“Daddy stop it. You’re not going to shoot MJ or his father. If you want to be mad at anybody be mad at me. I’m the reason why we’re here.” Azz’s voice was shaky and followed by tears.
Damn how the fuck she got me feeling bad for her when this shit is all her fault.
“I don’t give a fuck about that. You called the cops Azz. That means something.”
“They’re kids Fleet. Shit gets heated sometimes you know that but she already admitted he didn’t do anything to her.”
Cooper looked at Azz and I could tell from the look they shared that he knew more than her father did. She probably had to tell him the truth to get him to try and stop her dad from coming at me.
“It was just an argument. We both said–”
I let out a cocky laugh cutting her ass off. I didn’t want to hear that shit.
“You know what, I’m over it. All y’all can get the fuck out.”
I looked right at Azz and I could see the rush of emotion that hit when I told everyone to get out. She knew it was meant for her more than anyone.
“Can we talk, please?”
“Talk? Nah, I’m good on that. You should have been willing to do that when I first brought that shit to you.”
“MJ please?” she grabbed my arm and I instantly looked at her father first and then mine to make sure these fools didn’t shoot each other.
“The fuck you begging this muthafucker for? Let’s go A’Zara!” Karsen barked at her, glaring at his daughter.
“Listen to your father,” I said and then tried to walk off but she jumped in front of me.
“I’m sorry I lied but I knew that if I told you the truth you would have been done with me. He didn’t mean anything to me. None of them did. I know that you’re mad right now but can you at least consider the possibility of us working through this?”
“Like I said, I’m good on you. Have a good fucking life.”
Next thing I knew, Fleet had his daughter by the arm moving her to the door. He was so fucking pissed that he was damn near dragging her.
Azz didn’t really have to say it for him to connected the dots and even if he didn’t know his daughter was a hoe, he knew in that moment that she was fucking and that right there didn’t sit well with him.
I could tell that the two of them were about to have a real serious conversation. No father wants to know things like that. I could image that he’d be doing most of the talking or rather yelling.
Not only was she fucking but she was in his face begging for another man’s attention. I didn’t take Karsen as the type to be okay with shit like that.
“Things got a little out of hand and I hate that it had to play out like this, but if my niece felt threatened then she did the right thing. I do apologize for it escalating to this point,” Cooper said to me and finished by looking at my father and Uncle Train before he turned and walked out behind Karsen and Azz.
“This shit is over pussy?” My uncle Train said as soon as they were gone.
I just looked at him and and walked off because I was too aggregated to even answer that shit, but my father grabbed my shirt and pulled me too him so that he was right in my face.
“Answer the got damn question MJ. You coming at that girl because she’s opening her legs a little too easy.”
Hearing him say that about Azz caused me to snap for a minute. I broke away from my father aggressively and hit is ass as hard as I could.
“Oh shit.” My uncle yelled and then laughed.
When I got my head right, I just knew that my father was about to beat my ass but he rubbed his chin and smirked.
“Either your ass is in love or just fucking crazy.”
“That muthafucker is in love.” My uncle said and shook his head.
“Both of y’all can kiss my ass. I’m not in love with her but you don’t need to talk about her like that. You don’t even fucking know her.”
“Apparently you don’t either or this shit would have never happened. I told you not to fuck with her.” Mekkah said. This nigga looked like he wanted to beat my ass too.
“You’re right. Lesson learned but it doesn’t matter anymore. That shit is dead.” I turned to leave the living room but of course that didn’t go as planned.
“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” My father looked at me like I was crazy.
“To take a shower and then get something to eat. I’m tired as fuck and really not in the mood.”
‘ “Yo, you here this shit Train?I guess being in Philly made his ass forgot who the fuck was in charge.”
My father caught me with a mean as right and then pointed to the sofa. “Sit your ass down.”
I knew that shit went too easy and since I wasn’t in the mood to square up with his ass I just did as he asked.
Once I was situated, he sat down next to me and glanced at my uncle.
“Come on Mek, lets go get some food so they can work this shit out. Your brother is gonna be hungry as fuck after your father beats his ass.”
My brother shook his head but followed my uncle to the door. When they were gone, my dad looked at me stern as fuck.
“Aint shit to say. I made a bad call and I’m over it.”
My dad got quiet for a minute but then laughed. “So she got you beating down doors, punching cops and shit but you’re over it?”
“Hell yeah I’m over it. I know when to cut my losses.”
“Look son, if she was able to get you to that point then It’s not as simple as cutting your losses. I mean if you look me in the eyes and really tell me that it ain’t shit there, then I’ll believe you. But, when a woman has you swinging on me because I said some shit about her that rubbed you the wrong way then trust me, you’re not gonna just walk and be over it. Now lets talk. Tell me what this shit is really about.”
I exhaled and let my hand run down my face before I leaned back and let my head sink into the sofa that we were on.
“I thought it was something that it wasn’t. There isn’t anything that I can do about that.”
“She cheat on you?”
I had my eyes closed as I processed his question. The easy answer was no, but in a way she did. She cheated on what we were building and even if we hadn’t put a label on that she, she was mine and I was hers.
I was pissed about the fact that she had sex another muthafucker but even more upset that I gave her an out and she fucking lied. I didn’t think I could be with someone that could just look me in my face and tell a got damn lie with so much confidence that even I believed them.
“MJ did you hear me?”
“Yeah I heard you and I guess you can say she did.”
“The fuck is that supposed to me?”
“We were kicking it and she had sex with another nigga. It’s not like she was my girl or not shit like that. We had just started hanging out but she knew what we were.”
“So she’s not your girl but she had sex with someone else and that’s why you out here acting like you don’t have no fucking sense? Come on son, you know better than that. I’m sure this campus is full of opportunity. At least enough that you don’t have to be losing your shit over community pussy.”
“She ain’t community pussy. Why the fuck you keep disrespecting her like that?”
“That reaction right there is exactly how I know that you’re not about to cut your losses and bring your damn tone down before I break your fucking jaw because then I’ll have to go home and explain that shit to your mother.”
I calmed down and chuckled at my father. He was hard as fuck with anything and anyone expect my mother.
“How are you scared of mom. She’s little as fuck, like no more than 4’11 if that?”
“I ain’t scared of shit. I just choose my battles and I’m not fucking with your mother like that about her son.”
“Her son, damn It’s like that?”
“Hell yeah it is. Let her tell it I didn’t do shit to help get you and your brother here.”
“That’s fucked up.”
“That’s Yamiah Grant.”
I nodded to agree because he was right. My mother’s word was law especially when it came to her children.
“Aight so lets try this shit again and I need you to keep it one hundred with me MJ. What went on here today could have been a lot worse than it was and that’s some shit, I’m not willing to chance. What’s the deal with you at this Karsen girl?”
Again I drug my hand down my face before I focused on my dad.
“I’m feeling her. More than I should but I can’t just get with the fact that she don’t respect herself. I tried not to let that shit bother me but not only does she have a past, that shit is now all over social media and I just can’t get with that.”
“Because it matters to you or because you worried bout what everyone else thinks.”
I looked at my father for a minute thinking about my answer.
“Both I guess.”
“But you care about her?”
“yeah I do but…”
“No buts MJ. Shit with me and your mother wasn’t easy. You already know the story about Rays father so I won’t get into that. When I met your mother I didn’t give a fuck about any of it. Her past was just that, her past. I was man enough to make peace with that as long as moving forward she understood that it was just about us.”
“That’s different though.”
“How is it different? The person that your mother was before she met me didn’t matter. All that mattered was who she was when she was with me.”
“But she wasn’t like Azz. She didn’t get down like that so It’s different.”
“True, but she allowed herself to be with a man who disrespected her and didn’t give a fuck about her. I gave her a reason to respect herself enough to walk away. If you really care about this girl then you can be that for her. I’m not saying that’s what needs to happen but I am saying that you care. You’re my son, my fucking name sake so if no one else knows you I do. You’re me even more than Mekkah is. Don’t tell him I said that shit. But I see what you’re trying your best to hide. She means something to you. There’s nothing wrong with that as long as It’s not one sided. Nobody’s perfect, not me not your mother and damn sure not you.”
“I know I’m not perfect. Shit I’m far from it but I tried to do the right thing because you taught me that. I see how you treat mom and that’s not anything to play with. I hear what you’re saying but I think the best thing for me to do is to just leave that situation alone.”
“I respect that and it might be best because shit like what happened today, can’t happen again.”
The look that my father gave me said more than his actually words. He was refereeing to the seriousness of the fact that guns were drawn. He wasn’t the type to take shit like that lightly and I knew enough about the Karsen’s to know that they weren’t either, so I wasn’t even sure if this was over or if a war just started with our families.
I damn sure hoped it was over because what my father didn’t know was that I was in with the Karsen’s a lot deeper than just dealing with Azz. It wouldn’t be as easy to walk away from the business decision that I made with Cole and Kaden as it would be for me to try and let go of her.
A’Zara “Azz” Karsen
I stared at the message that I composed to send to MJ before I looked up at my father and uncle Cooper who were standing a few feet away from where I was sitting in the passenger’s seat of my father’s truck.
I read it a few more times trying to build up the nerve to send it.
Me: I know you don’t want to hear this right now, but I’m sorry. I so sorry and I’ll do anything for a chance to fix this
After going over it one last time, I just said fuck it and let it go. It was pointless anyway because the way the MJ looked at me before my father dragged me out of his apartment.
Again, my eyes were on my father and Uncle. The two of them were arguing and from the way my father kept cutting his eyes my way, they were arguing about me. I felt like shit but even more than that I was embarrassed. I never wanted my father to see me for who I really was and that was exactly what had just happened.
Moments later my heart sank to the pit of my stomach when I saw my father throw his hand up at my uncle and then his eyes landed on me before he stormed off towards the front door of our house. I was broken. The look he gave me crushed me because I could see his thoughts.
I held my breath for a brief moment, just before my uncle Cooper pulled opened the passenger side door.
Without saying a word, I got out and moved into his arms. He hugged him tight and the tears started falling again.
“Azzy don’t cry baby. It’s gonna be alright.”
My uncle kissed the top of my head and hugged me tighter attempting to calm me down. I might have been nineteen years old but in that moment I felt like I was nine.
“He hates me doesn’t he?”
I felt my uncles chest rise and fall as he inhaled and let it go slow. He backed away from me and I leaned against my father’s car before wiping my eyes.
“He’s disappointed and for good reason Azz.”
I just stared at my uncle and felt the tears building again.
“How the fuck that shit happen? You have to know better than that? He raised you better than that.”
“Why is that such a big deal. Would you say the same thing to Kaden?”
“Come on Azz, you know it’s not the same. As fucked up as it is, It’s really not.”
“It’s not fair.” I pouted wiping a few more tears and my uncle shook his head and smiled before pulling me back into a hug.
“Life isn’t fair baby girl but you’re gonna be alright. You just have to curb that shit or you’re gonna have the Karsen men going to war and I know you don’t want that.”
Just the thought alone had my chest tight so I shook my head quick. “No I don’t. If today was any indication of what that’s like then I really don’t want that.”
My uncle chuckled. “Today wasn’t shit Azzy. Other’s have died for much less than your little boyfriend did and today guns were drawn behind you. No body bags were needed, but trust me, it gets a lot worse than how things played out today, if necessary, so curb that shit, aight. I’m about to head out but I’ll check in with you.”
“Unc no, can you take me to get my truck.”
Again he laughed. “Hell no. Take your ass in there and go talk to your father. He probably won’t say shit to you right now but you need to go handle that shit and take whatever he gives.”
“But I don’t want to do that. Not right now. I think I should give him time to calm down.”
“You made the decision do be grown now take your ass in there and deal with the consequence. You’re a Karsen, A’Zara. We don’t run from shit we handle it. Now go deal with the mess you made. Your father loves you no matter what. He’s not happy with you right now and neither am I but we both still love you and that won’t ever change.”
I knew my uncle was right but that didn’t mean that I was ready to have that conversation with my father and have him look at me like I ruined our relationship. That hurt more than anything but I knew it had to happen.
I took a minute to get myself together before I hugged my uncle one last time and then watched him leave. Once he was gone, I made my way to my parents front door and inhaled deep and walked inside.
“A’Zara come in here.”
My mothers voice scared the shit out of me and when I looked own the hall towards the living room the look on her face scared me even more. My father was disappointed but my mother was pissed.
When I started her way, she turned and entered the living room and when I made it to the entrance she was already seated on the sofa giving me the death stare from hell. She pointed to my fathers leather recliner and even that looked like an angry motion.
Not wanting to make things worse, I sat down, kept my mouth shut and waited.
“I don’t even know where to begin.”
“Ma, I’m sorry I–”
“Don’t A’Zara. Don’t give me some bullshit excuse about why you did what you did. None of that even matters. At the end of the day you created a situation that could have cost that young man his life as well as your father and your uncle theirs. You did that.” She pointed at me and her face was tight because she was so angry.
“I know that and I didn’t know it would end up like that I just, shit I don’t know.”
Those damn tears started falling again and I lowered my face into the palms of my hands as I leaned over and let my forearms rest gains my legs.
“Everything’s so messed up. Dad hates me, MJ hates me, you think I’m a slut and ma I really like him. None of that even matters anymore because he hates me.”
This time I really broke down and just cried.
“Azzy come here baby.”
Shaking my head to say no, I just sat there with my face buried in my hands and cried.
“Azzy, come here.”
My mother’s tone was soft and caring this time so I looked up at her and her voice matched the expression on her face.
I got up and walked over to the sofa where she was sitting and sat down next to her. I laid my head on her shoulder and she lowered her arm around my body which was trembling a little because I was still crying.
“Sweetheart, I get it. I know you think I don’t understand you, but I do. I hate to say it but you’re your fathers child. I think that’s what hurts him the most. It’s okay for Kaden to be like him but you, you’re his pride and joy, his baby girl and to know that you’re not perfect hurts. I’m more realistic about things like that. I can’t say that I’m surprised, so even if I don’t like it, I’m not judging you for the way you’ve been behaving. We are who we are and we make choices based on that.”
“I’ve assumed. Every parent knows their child. So tell me about this boy.”
“Why, I ruined it so there’s no point.”
“You don’t know that. Things have a way of working themselves out.”
“Not this time. I lied to him and he knows I lied to him. There’s a recording of that lie all over social media.”
I lifted my head na looked up at my mother.
“Oh Azz, what did you do baby. I know you have to be smarter than that.”
And here comes the judgment.
I wiped my face and sat up, peering at my mother.
“Don’t worry about it. I don’t need you hating me anymore than you already do.” My voice raised enough to make a difference and I instantly regretted it from the look my mother gave me.
“A’Zara Karsen, I let you get away with a lot but you will no talk to me like I’m one of your little friends. Show some damn respect. Now you’re the one who wanted to be grown and make adult decisions. So deal with what comes with that. What recording?”
I stared at my mother for a minute before I spoke. We argued all the time but she never really put he foot down with me because she knew that my father would defend me. I guess she was aware that I didn’t have that right now. She was also beyond annoyed with me.
“I went to a party and was drinking. I had sex with this guy and someone recorded it. They posted it all over social media.”
“Is that what all this is about?”
“Yes, that’s what this is about.” I repeated with an attitude because of the look she gave me.
“So that young man went to jail and I’m sure you father just threatened his life all because you couldn’t keep your legs closed?”
I jumped up and narrowed my eyes at my mother.
“Yes seriously now sit your little ass down because I’m not done talking to you.”
My mother got really serious with in a matter of seconds, so I sat down and just peered at her.
“And you can fix your damn face. I don’t really care if you don’t like what I have to say, your little fast ass is about to listen. Don’t think that I don’t know that when you’re not answering my calls or when you’re showing up late where you are and what you’re doing. I was young once too Azz and maybe I didn’t do things exactly like you but I’m not innocent. I had my share of experiences. I was just smart enough not to let them control my life.”
“Is that what you think I do?”
I know that’s what you do. Look at this situation.”
“I didn’t know that I was being recorded. I was just having fun.”
But you put yourself in the position for it to happen. You drank too much or were somewhere you didn’t need to be whatever the case it happened. I understand how you feel but you have to take ownership in this. Your choices and behavior played a role in it.”
“I get that and I don’t know how many ways I’m supposed to apologize for that. I can’t change it. It happened now what?”
“Now you live with he consequences. I will make sure your father makes some calls to try and shut down what’s out there on social media but it won’t be easy. The most important part is making sure it doesn’t happen again and unless you change your behavior then you can’t guarantee that. Grow up A’Zara. Respect yourself enough to make good choices. There’s nothing wrong with having fun and living your life but sometimes the decisions that you make affect other people. What if your father had taken that boys life, then what? Could you live with that?”
I just stared blankly at her thinking about it what she had just asked.
“Then makes smart choices and grow the fuck up. You’re my daughter and I love you but I need you to love yourself.”
My mother turned to leave and I jumped up to stop her.
“How do I fix it?”
“Fix what Azz.”
“How do I make them forgive me, dad and MJ.”
“You can’t make anybody forgive you. Your father loves you so hell be oaky, he’s just disappointed right now. I can’t tell you what to do about that boy except give him time. You put him in a bad position and he might not ever get over that. You just have to wait and see.”
“Okay.” I said as my heart broke even more.
She was right. I may have really messed up any chance I had of being with MJ and there wasn’t anything I could do about it.
My mother stared at me for a minute more before she broke down and walked over to me. She hugged me tight.
“If he cares about you half as much as you care about him then, he’ll forgive you. Just give him time.”
She kissed me on the cheek and then left me there. What in the entire hell was I supposed to do now. Life is not supped to be this hard at nineteen.
After my talk with my mother, I decided that I was ready to face my father. When I got to his office, he was sitting at his desk and I could smell what he was smoking before I even entered.
The way he looked at me when I did had the tears building already. Never in my life had I been so disconnected from him and I didn’t know what to do with that feeling.
“Daddy can we talk?”
He drug his hand down his face and just looked at me but didn’t day a word, so I did.
“I know that you hate me right now and I’m sorry…”
“I don’t hate you Azzy. I just can’t believe that you could be so careless. Do you know how fucking embarrassing that was? I’m there defending you and you’re begging that muthafucker for time that you should be making him earn. I found out things about you today that no father ever wants to know and I can’t deal with that shit right now.”
My father stood and was on his way too me. I didn’t know what to expect but when he walked past me and left his office and me standing there, I just knew that my heart physically split in two.
I had ruined my relationship with MJ and as much as that hurt, knowing that I also destroyed my relationship with my father left me with a feeling that I couldn’t even describe. What the hell was I supposed to do now?
Mekkah “Mek” Grant
“Feel like talking?” I asked from the door way of my brothers room.
He was stretched out on his bed, smoking a blunt, so after inhaling he released a cloud of smoke and held it out to me signaling for me to join him.
I entered his room, took the blunt from his hand and sat down on the side of his bed.
“What time did they leave?” I asked just before I took a pull. I noticed that my father and uncle had already split and they didn’t wake me.
“Early this morning. Mom called and told him to bring his ass home. I heard them arguing and shit about how things went down. Soon as she found out guns were involved she went in on his ass and then hung up on him. She called right after and cussed me the fuck out. You were sleep when they left so he said just call him.”
I nodded and inhaled again. I knew if my mother found out all the details that she’d be pissed. I was surprised that our father even told her but they didn’t keep secrets so it made sense.
I thought about how things played out last night as I enjoyed the high that was settling in. After my uncle Train and I got back with food, the four of us stayed up all night smoking and drinking.
Our dad was cool as fuck so once he spoke on the situation that went down, he and MJ worked through their issues about the shit with Azz, we all just chilled.
I missed being home so for him and my uncle to be here with us like they wee last night had me ready to be done with school and back in Atlanta.
“You know this is about to complicate shit.”
I handed the blunt back to MJ and he accepted it but just looked at me for a minute.
“It shouldn’t. I didn’t do shit to her so if Kay has an issue with how things went down and wants me out then he can give me my got damn money and y’all can do whatever.”
“If you’re out, I’m out. You already know that. Our moves are parallel.”
MJ chuckled and then inhaled deep. “You been saying that shit since we were kids.”
I smiled and took the blunt he held out for me again. “Because that shit is true. That’s how It’s supposed to be and not just because we’re twins, but because we’re blood in general. I take that shit serious.”
“Muthafucker I do too.” MJ balled up his face and peered at me so this time I chuckled.
“Nigga I know that. So now that pops is gone, what’s really going on?”
“What you mean?”
“Azz, you know what the fuck I mean.”
MJ waved me off, sat up and swung his legs over his bed to stand. “Ain’t shit going on. That’s dead to me. I don’t need that type of headache. There’s too much uncomplicated pussy out there to be dealing with somebody like that. In fact…” He paused and glanced at his phone which was next to him on the night stand. After he had it in his hand, he smiled and then tossed it on the bed. “…Duty calls. I’m good Mek. Don’t worry about me.”
“I don’t have a choice but to worry about you, because you damn sure ain’t worried about yourself. One of us has to act like a fucking adult and I can already tell that you’re about to be reckless as fuck.”
My brother looked at me over his shoulder and laughed. “I’m not about to be reckless. I’m just going back to my old ways. Commitment isn’t for me anyway. Clearly this was a sign that I needed to do me.”
“What the fuck ever, just strap up because if you bring a baby home to Yamiah Grant. That’s your ass and you know it.”
MJ chuckled and shook his head. “I’m good on that. You know I don’t fuck around and you’re right. Mom isn’t trying to hear that shit no kinda way. Hell I’m not ready to be a got damn father. That shit is too stressful and I have a lot more hoeing to do. When it’s time, I want to do it right and it damn sure ain’t time.”
“Just remember that shit. I’m heading out though. I’ll get with you later. We need to feel Kay out about this. I’m sure he doesn’t even know yet or he would have already been on your line trying to see wth the fuck went down.”
“Yeah well, he better step to me like he has some damn sense or it’s gonna be a problem. I’m not for that fuck shit.”
“You already know.” I dapped my brother and started to leave his room but he stopped me.
“Where the fuck you going anyway?”
“I’m about to go hang out with a friend.” I said coolly knowing that wasn’t gonna be enough information for him.
“A friend? She must be tore the fuck up Mek. You being shady as hell about her.” He grinned and slipped his hands into his pockets while he stared at me waiting.
“You got me fucking bent. I’m not even about to entertain that bullshit.”
I shook my head to leaven his room but he was right behind me.
“Then why haven’t I met her. You must not want me to know her if you’re hiding her. I’m not gone fuck her so I know that’s not it.”
“Nigga I know you won’t because I’ll beat your ass.”
I narrowed my yes at him and he laughed. “I barely even know her which is why I haven’t brought her around yet. I need to see what she’s about. If your ass hadn’t gotten locked the fuck up, I might actually know more. I was chilling with her when you called and then had to leave her to come get your ass outta lock up.”
“That isn’t my damn fault.” MJ laughed and I looked at him like he was crazy.
“It is your fucking fault. You need some anger management classes. In fact let me Google that shit right now and find you a program. I’ll be your sponsor to make sure you follow through with your breathing techniques and woosah and shit.”
“Your dumb as fuck. It’s not AA or no shit like that. You don’t need a fucking sponsor for anger management classes and I don’t need that them. You tell me if that same situation had happened to you, that you wouldn’t have reacted the same way.”
“Hell no I wouldn’t have, I would have been pissed but when the got damn rent a cops showed up, I would have kept it moving and taken my black ass on. I’m not trying to do a bid for not fucking body. Not even your ass.”
“Damn Mek, it’s like that. You wouldn’t do time for me?” MJ looked at me serious as hell.
“Fuck no. If your ass is dumb enough to get caught then you need to sit your ass in jail. The fuck I look like stepping up to do time because you’re stupid. I’ll take a life for you, but I’m not doing time for you. Also, trust if I take a life, I’ll be smart enough to make sure I don’t get caught.
MJ burst out laughing. “You ain’t shit Mek.”
I ignored his ass and walked off. He really had me fucking bent. My time was too got damn important to waste that shit behind bars on the strength of something somebody else did. Fuck all that.
A few hours later
“How’s your brother?”
“He’s straight. They just let him go after our father made a few calls. Other than hitting the cop, he didn’t really do shit. I’m sure that cop hit our father’s pockets deep not to press chargers on MJ for hitting him, but It’s handled.”
Sonna just stared at me for a minute. I could see her thinking, likely because I insinuated that my father paid off the cop.
“You’re rich right?”
“My family has a little change why?”
“Just curious. What do your parents do?”
“My mother doesn’t do shit but worry the fuck out of me, my sister and brother while spending my father’s money.”
I grinned and she frowned at me.
I gripped her waist and backed her against the railing on the section of the Schuykill Banks Boardwalk where we stopped to take a break. I should have known when her ass told me to dress comfortable that it was a got damn set up.
She had me out here on walking trails and shit but it was different than any other date I took a female on. Something like this was just like her nerdy ass, so I was with it.
Most women expected dates to be shopping or some overpriced restaurant when I didn’t even know their last names. If not that then it was some Netflix and chill type of thing where they wanted to fuck.
Sonna was on a different vibe and I appreciated that. She just wanted to spend time with me and even though she had me out here doing things I wasn’t used to and would likely never do, it was actually pretty cool.
After I backed Sonna against the rail, I stepped in between her legs and pressed my body against hers. I had my hands positioned on the rail behind me not giving her any room to get free.
“Mekkah, what does your father do?” she said trying to get me to answer what I was trying to get her to forget.
“Things.” I said and waited.
I knew that wasn’t gonna fly. Sonna was smart as hell and as quiet as she was, she wasn’t the type to accept bullshit. I learned that about her quick.
“We can leave?” she stated bluntly and pushed her palms into my chest trying to create space so that she could move around me. Unfortunately my size was more dominate to her small body so I didn’t move.
“Why do you wanna leave?” I frowned at her but I knew the answer.
I didn’t really want to have a conversation about my father and his illegal activities. Mostly because I didn’t know her like that enough to trust her with that type of information. Also because there were two type of women in the world, those that wanted a thug and those that were running from them.
I was who I was and even though I was sitting somewhere in between, my life was more or less going to mirror my fathers at some point. Simply put, maybe not right now but eventually, I was going to be into the same illegal shit that he was into.
“We’re here to get to know each other right?” she looked me right in my eye and didn’t waver in the slightest.
“Yeah we are but you’re asking about my father, not me. Ask me anything you want to know about me and I’ll tell you. I don’t have secrets.”
“Who your father is, is directly related to who you are. Especially if he can make calls to get your brother our of jail and line a cops pocket to prevent him from pressing charges. Your bother hit a cop Mekkah. I know that may not seem like a big deal to you but it is and whoever your father is, he made that go away.”
“It’s not important.”
I was getting frustrated. I damn sure didn’t want to have that conversation now. Based on her reaction, I could tell she wasn’t going to want any association with who I really was or rather who my family really was.
“You’re right, lets go.” She stated calmly pushing me off her again and this time I let her. I watched her from behind as she started walking away. I gripped the back of my neck as I stood there for a brief moment watching her move further away from me. While I mentally debated what I wanted to do.
“Shit.” I mumbled when I got my head right and started a slow jog to catch up with her.
“Hold up.” I gripped her hand and walked in the opposite direction bringing her with me as I made my way to one of the empty benches that was near us.
“Sit down.” I pointed to it and she frowned at me.
“It’s fine. You don’t have to tell me. I’m okay with that but if I can’t know who you are, and I mean really know who you are then I we can just be friends and that’s it. I’m okay with that.”
“Sonna just sit down and we can talk.” I pointed to the bench again and she sat, hesitantly before placing her hands in her lap and staring at me waiting.
“It’s not that I don’t want to tell you. It’s more about that fact that I don’t know if I should tell you. We barely even know each other and as cool as you seem, some shit is just personal.
“I get that and if you’re not comfortable telling me then I most certainly am not going to force you.” She stood again before she continued. “But just like you need to feel comfortable about who you can trust to be close to you, I need to feel comfortable about who I can trust to be close to me. If I don’t know really know you then I can’t. I have people who are related to me that I can’t really trust so that’s important to me an not something I’m willing to compromise on.”
I had to respected that and it was only fair that I allowed her to make that choice about whether or not she wanted to deal with me after she knew my back story. Against my better judgement I told her. Well the condensed version.
“My dad is wealthy because he’s street smart,” I said and then waited for her to respond.
“He’s a drug dealer?”
“Something like that. Not any nickel and dime shit but yeah, drugs.”
“Is or was?” she asked
I exhaled and drug my hand down my face. “is.”
“Will it matter if I say yes?” I could easily say no and it wouldn’t be a lie. My father wouldn’t let me touch shit and I hadn’t made the first sale with Kay, Cole and my bothers yet so technically I could say no and mean it.
“No. I like you and I know that there’s still more to you that I have to learn but what little I do know, I’m not ready to walk away from. What you do, doesn’t define who you are. Do I have concerns about it, yeah I do but I’m sure if this thing that we’re starting works out that you’ll figure out a way to deal with my concerns.”
I smiled big as hell. Her response was academic as fuck but she was just like that. I didn’t expect anything less. “So if I follow my fathers lead, you’re okay with me being a part of that lifestyle.
“Your father is married to your mother right?”
“Yeah.” I had no idea what the fuck that had to do with anything.
“I’m pretty smart Sonna but that shit doesn’t make no sense. Break it down to me shorty.”
“I can tell from the way you talk about your parents that they love each other. If you’re mother loves your father then he makes her feel safe. He raised you so you have that in you too.”
“You’re trying to be wify and I barely even kissed you Sonna.” I knew what she was getting at but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to fuck with her a little.
“I’m trying to make sure I don’t get kidnapped because you owe the plug or that I don’t catch a stray bullet because you have enemies. That doesn’t have a damn thing to do with being wify Mekkah.”
The expression on her face was so damn serious that I couldn’t help but laugh at her cute ass.
“You watch too much TV. We don’t make moves like that.”
“Well you get my point.” She rolled her damn eyes. “I can’t say that I’m in love with the idea of getting involved with you knowing that’s the path that you’re about to go down but I meant what I said. I’m not ready to walk away from this yet.”
“Damn you doing wonders for my ego. I haven’t even blessed you yet and you’re already on team Mekkah.”
“And I haven’t even blessed you yet and you’re already telling me all of your secrets. I guess we’re both the shit.”
“Man bring your lame ass here. Don’t be putting that shit out there. You’re gonna fuck around and be bent over this rail. I’m not scared of showing public affection.” I yanked at her shirt and forced her against my body. Our kiss was sensual as fuck and all I could think about was what came next.
“So you’re rocking with me, huh?”
“Until you give me a reason not to.” That pretty ass smile of hers spread across her face exposing her dimples.
“Aight, I can get with that. Now can we go. I’m hungry as fuck and you got me out here walking and shit.”
She laughed and tried to step back but I sole one last kiss before she did. Sonna Daniels was definitely making an impact.
Kaden “Kay” Karsen
“Aye, give me a minute to holla at Azz real quick.” I kissed Ky on the neck and she continued on to her bedroom while I stopped in the living room to talk to my sister.
It had been two days and we still hadn’t discussed what the fuck went down with her and MJ.
I knew all the details from my father who laid into my ass like Azz’s behavior was somehow my fault and I also had a conversation with MJ who wanted to clear the air to make sure we were still good to do business but I hadn’t had a conversation with Azz yet.
Mostly because I was too fucking pissed to do it. My father refused to talk to her right now and I knew that my mother got in her ass. I didn’t want to make things worse by going in on her too so the best thing I could do was to stay away until I was ready to deal with her.
I knew that the way she was living was gonna catch up with her but I didn’t think it would go down like it did. Luckily my father knew people so for the most part, the video was non existent but people where still talking about it and females where still talking shit and giving Azz a hard time. She hadn’t been to class in the past two days because of it which I knew because of Ky.
When I rounded the tiny ass sofa where my sister was balled up in one corner, I sat down and she didn’t look at me or move but she spoke.
“If you’re here to yell at me then don’t. My life is already fucked up and I can’t take you being mad at me too.” She mumbled
“Well you’ll have to deal with it because I am. I told you that shit wasn’t going end well but as mad as I am, I’m not trying to make you feel any worse than I know you do. I know you already feel like shit.”
“Yeah I do so please don’t remind me and your mother won’t stop blowing up my phone. MJ won’t answer my calls or text so yeah my life is pretty shitty right now.”
“The fuck you thought Azz? You did some dumb shit. Some really dumb shit and now you’re dealing with the fallout from it.”
My sister lifted her head and looked at me and I swear she looked like she was five years old with those sad red eyes. I wasn’t with that shit. I knew she had been crying and at the end of the day no matter what she did, she was still my baby sister and I wasn’t feeling that.
“I know that Kaden. I’m not blaming anyone but myself but it doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.”
Inhaling I released it slow and then pulled her from where she was laying against my side and hugged her.
“I know things are messed up but give it some time and no one will even be thinking about it. It’s still new.”
“Time is not going to make dad forget and it won’t make MJ forgive me.”
“Dad will be okay. You know how he operates Azz. You’re his baby girl so he didn’t see that shit coming. That’s your damn fault for always trying to be his favorite.” I teased and she rolled her eyes.
“He hates me Kay both of them do.”
“Dad doesn’t hate you. He might hate what you did but he doesn’t hate you. Also, fuck MJ that’s my nigga and everything but if he can’t forgive you then real shit, fuck him Azzy. You didn’t have no business with him anyway.”
“Don’t say that. He’s the good one in this situation. He respected me more than I respected me.”
I knew what she was saying was true but I still didn’t want her down on herself. “It’s gonna be alright. Just don’t hide, hold your damn head up and get back to your life. If anybody has anything to say to you, I’ll handle it.”
“You can’t beat people up because they’re calling me on my shit Kay.”
“The fuck if I can’t. You already know how that’s going down.”
She shook her head and smiled. I was just glad to see her happy even if it was temporary.
“So what the fuck happened anyway? I didn’t watch that shit but MJ said you were out of it. Did you know, I mean because it sounds like I owe and ass whooping or two.”
Azz hung her head for a brief second before she looked at me. “I went there to be with him. I knew what I was doing and I was drinking, a lot so I can’t really blame anyone but myself but I swear I didn’t know someone was recorded me. And even down to the drinking, you know I can handle my liquor Kay. I really feel like it was more than just alcohol.”
I felt my body tensed up and I pulled way from her a little. “ You think that nigga drugged you? Where he at Azz, I swear on God, I’m fucking him up?”
“No, you’re not. If it happened and I can’t promise that it did, it wasn’t him. He didn’t have a reason too. I told you, I went there to be with him and he knew that.”
“I don’t give a fuck about that. It doesn’t mean he wasn’t on some bullshit Azz. He go here?”
“Kaden no, just leave it alone please. It’s bad enough as it is. The last thing I need is my big brother, going after him when clearly, I made the decision to be with him. How is that gonna look.”
“It looks like me fucking that nigga up.” I said serious as hell.
“No, just leave it alone. You said I had to deal with the consequences. Well this is a consequence. I’m just over it. I lost enough as it is, so leave it alone.”
Again I inhaled and released it slow before I kissed my sister on the forehead.
“Aight, I’ll leave it alone. Just promise me something.”
“Stop hiding, fuck all that. You’re a Karsen. We ain’t perfect but we damn sure ain’t cowards. The shit is over, just do better from now on but no more hiding.”
“Fine, no more hiding.”
She looked at me with a soft smile and I stood.
“Aight good, and take your ass to class before mom come and fucks you up for wasting her money. You know she don’t play about those stacks. That’s probably why she’s blowing up your damn phone.”
I chuckled as I rounded the sofa to go see if Ky was ready. She wanted to come change so that we could head out to dinner and I agreed hoping to holla at my sister.
Now that I knew she was good, I could spend time with Ky since we were were still working on our own dysfunctional shit.
“Your skin is soft as fuck Ky.” I moved my hand up her thigh and then back down several times as she sat next to me in the booth at the pizza place where I took her for dinner. She had to have pizza and at this point, it was whatever Ky wanted.
I knew things were till shaky with us so I didn’t debate her on anything that wasn’t relevant and so far it was working in my favor.
“Thank you now move your hands and eat your food.” She pushed my hand off her leg and I laughed before I kissed her neck and lifted my beer.
“I’m done. Your ass is the one playing around. You act like you’re scared of that shit after you begged me to bring you here.”
“I’m eating like a normal person. Not inhaling my food like you.” She sucked her teeth and then bit the tip off the ned of ht slice that she picked up.
“Hey Kaden. Who’s you’re little friend.” A female voice said and then I felt a body nearing the table so I looked up and laid eyes on Josie, this Dominican chick I smashed a few times. Ky reared her head back and looked at me first and then Josie.
“Little, ain’t shit little about me and I’m not just his friend…”
I cut her off quick. Josie was just one of the many females I had fucked and no one important to me. Ky wasn’t about to sit here and defend her position to her.
“You don’t have to explain shit to her Ky, I got this. She’s my girl and you are?” I looked right at Josie serious as fuck even though I knew her name. I was just proving a point.
“Your girl. Hump, since when? This little union must be new. Brand new.” She looked Ky up and down before he focused on me.”
“Yeah actually it is so again, who the fuck are you?”
“Oh so you don’t know my name now? Front for your little preschooler Kaden.”
“Bitch you got me bent. I’m really not the one–”
Ky was about to be on her feet but I placed my hand on her leg to stop her.
“Ky chill. Did I not just tell you to relax all that.” I kissed her lips and then looked right at Josie.
“Pussy, good or bad doesn’t guarantee you space in my memory bank, so no, I don’t know your fucking name and at this point I don’t really care. You’re interrupting time with my girl and I’m not happy about that so unless you have a reason for bringing your ass over here then I suggest you keep it moving. Today is not the day and I’m not the one.”
“Niggas swear they doing something when they’re hoe ass find a girl that don’t know who they are. Bitch don’t get you’re feelings hurt. He ain’t shit and never will be. Enjoy.” Josie said and walked off.
I cut my eyes at her processing how I planned on rolling up on her later. I wasn’t the one for that disrespectful shit.
“We can go now,” Ky said with a little to much attitude for me right after that scene ended.
“Don’t even start, Ky’anne.”
“I’m not staring anything, I’m just ready to go.”
“Nah, your ass ain’t all of a sudden ready to go, you’re just in your feelings about what went down.”
“Yeah I am and why shouldn’t I be?”
“Because you shouldn’t. did I seem even the last bit interested in her? Hell no, in fact I made it clear that you were my priority so what’s the fucking problem.”
“The problem is that was the first of many and I’m not even about to set myself up for that.”
I let out a cocky laugh. “Wasn’t it you who said don’t be different with you. You told me to be me because you knew who I was. That right here is who I was.” I pointed across the restaurant where Josie was grilling the hell outta me and Ky while she mumbled shit to her friends.
“I’m not gonna act like I’m perfect but you already knew that. I’m trying damn, the fuck you want?”
“I don’t want you to know every bitch that we cross paths with.”
“Well I don’t so problem solved. Eat you damn pizza.” I lifted a slice from the metal tray and tossed it on her plate. She looked at me like I had lost my mind.
“Oh hell no, nigga you got this all fucked up. You’re not gonna talk to me any kind of way.”
“And you’re not gonna argue with me over shit that we both knew was possible. I fucked a lot of women, I can’t change that, either you can deal with that or not but this is not going down every time one of them decides to let it be known.”
“So I just accept it.”
‘Hell yeah the fuck else are you supposed to do? I handled it. It’s not like I played you or no shit like that. How much more clear could I have been? I don’t even know the her damn name. I’ll let them know that I’m with you but I can’t control every female that gets in her feeling about it. What I’m not gonna do is argue with you every time it happens. That ain’t my shit.”
I stared at her waiting. I knew I was being blunt and lacking consideration about how it could possibly make her feel, but hell it was true. Did I flip the fuck out when fuck boy she had sex with showed up at her dorm room while we were chilling, hell no.
I just played it cool and even though I wanted to break his fucking jaw I didn’t. That right there was saying a lot, especially for me. She wasn’t about to pull this shit every time we crossed paths with my past.
“Well?” I said when she didn’t respond.
She knew I was right so her little ass lifted her pizza and took a bite. She grilled the fuck out of me but she didn’t say shit because she knew she couldn’t. I was done talking too, but I had something for her as soon as we got back to her dorm room. It was time for me to officially make Ky mine.
Ky didn’t really say much for the rest of dinner or on the way back to her dorm. She mostly only responded to things that I said. For the most part she kept her focus on her phone scrolling through social media.
I was cool with that as long as she wasn’t texting another muthafucker so I let her stay in her feelings about what went down with Josie.
That was until we got back to her dorm. I waited in her room while she went to check in on Azz. As soon as she was with me again, she rolled her damn eyes the second that they were on me. I laughed at her spoiled ass not paying her any mind.
“She good?” I questioned about Azz.
“Shut your door,” I said calmly from where I sat in the wooden chair that paired with her desk.
Ky of course looked at me with her face all balled up. “I thought you were leaving?”
“I was but things changed. Shut you door.” I stated again and she just folded her arms staring at me.
“You don’t have to stay. I’m sure you have important things to do.”
“I know I don’t have to stay, but I am. You and I need to get a few things straight because what happened tonight, is not going to happen again. I don’t have patience for that dumb shit.”
“If that’s why you’re staying then don’t. I don’t need you to prove anything to me Kaden. We’re good.”
Again I laughed but this time I stood and walked over to her. Our bodies were touching because I was so close but her stubborn ass stood her ground. “This isn’t about proving shit to you because I don’t have to. You already know what it is. You just need confirmation and that’s what I’m about to give you. Shut your fucking door Ky’anne.”
I stared down at her for a few seconds more before I stepped away, turned my back to her and pulled my shirt over my head.
A smile crossed my face when I heard her door slam. She had too much fucking attitude but I was about to fix that.
“Why are you undressing?”
I stepped out of my Nikes and unbuckled my jeans. Once I had them off, and I was down to just by boxer briefs, I walked over to Ky who was till standing in the same place I left her.
She was trying hard to hide the smile that was fighting to escape but I could also see that she was nervous. She knew what was about to go down.
Instead of responding to her question, I started unbuckling her shorts, and then pushed them down her hips along with the panties she had on. Ky kept her eyes on me then entire time until I pulled her shirt over her head and then kissed her while I unhooked her bra.
“Kaden.” She said lowly just before I backed her to her bed. Up until the point where she said my name neither of us uttered a word.
“Sit down.” I pointed to her bed and she complied.
I then kneeled down in front of her and spread her thighs as far apart as they would go. For a brief moment I got pissed knowing that I wouldn’t be the first to enter her, but it didn’t matter. She wouldn’t remember shit after I was done with her anyway.
“Are we ready for this, I mean we just–”
I smirked and lowered my head between her legs and let my tonight flick her clit. She stopped talking and her hands landed on the bed next to her palms down as she gripped the sheets.
“Shit.” Fell out of her mouth before she released a deep throated moan.
Not giving her a chance to object, I let my tongue dive in and circled it a few times before I kissed those fat lips once more. I then focused my attention on her clit. Just that fast, Ky’s young ass was running from me.
I knew my head game was fucking amazing so no matter what she had experienced before me, it in no way prepared her for what I was about to do.
“Ky stay still man. You were talking all that shit about what you experienced, now you’re running and I’m just getting started.”
“Shut up, I’m not–”
I worked two fingers inside her and latched onto her clit again. Fuck all that I was about to work this shit out.
“Kaden wait, hold on fuck, oh shit…”
Ky was rambling her ass off all the while she was trying to get away from me. I gripped her thighs tight and went harder. I needed to hold her in place unit she released for me. I was confident that I could get the job done with just my mouth so I held her in place and catered to every inch of her sweetness.
After a few strong minutes it was a warp, Ky was cuming all on my face and I loved every drop.
When her body finally stopped pulsing, I was on my feet again to get a condom. I watched her lying there eyes closed, hand on her stomach breathing like she was about to pass out. It was sexy as fuck. Hell she was sexy as fuck. Her sweat glazed golden skin was perfect. Ky’s body was slim thick and toned as fuck because of all the dancing and her perky ass breast were the size of two full apples, but just right.
She was perfect, too fucking perfect for me because I knew I’d eventually fuck it up but I was about to try my best not too. I didn’t want to hurt Ky again and to be honest, she was giving me plenty of reasons to get my shit together. I just prayed that I could.
After I had my condom on, I touched her thigh and she jumped a little before her eyes opened and she gave me a lazy smile.
“Scoot back and get up here.” I said pointed to the top of her bed. She did as I asked and when her eyes landed on my dick, they stretched wide as fuck causing me to smile.
“I got you stop looking like that. You already knew what I was working with Ky.”
“Maybe we should wait–”
I cut that short, as soon as my body covered hers and out lips connected again.
I slipped my tongue in her mouth while I used my hand to guide myself to her opening.
As soon as she felt the head her body jumped a little.
“Relax. I told you I got you.”
Ky kept her eyes on me and bit down on her lip. I promise I almost nutted right then because she was so fucking sexy to me but I kept it together.
I eased in slow and Ky’s eyes shut quick as hell. I could see the affect of every inch as I entered it inside of her, on her face as it tensed up and expressed her discomfort.
With soft pecks on her lips I stopped and held steady. “You want me to stop?”
“No.” she said lowly before her eyes opened again. I kept going until I was fully inside and then started a slow steady rhythm.
This shit didn’t make any sense. She was so tight and perfect, I knew I’d take a life if I even thought someone was trying to come behind me. Fuck, Ky had me praying for control.
“Fuck, this shit feels good.” I mumbled after I buried my face in her neck.
“At least one of us is good.” Ky pouted causing me to stop and look at her. She looked so miserable that I couldn’t help but laugh.
“You want me to stop. I swear I will, I’ll be mad as fuck and might not talk to you for a minute but I will.” I smiled when I said it but I was low key dead ass serious abut being mad. This shit felt too damn good
“No, I guess I need to get used to it. Just go slow.”
Hell yeah. Thank God.
“I told you I got you.”
That was all she had to say, I took my time and made sure I gave her just enough but not too much that she would shut me down from taking it there again. Ky was still a baby when it came to shit like this but I was about to put her on the fast track and real got damn fast.